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RAW 11TH DECEMBER, 1995 Review
From Salisbury, Maryland, taped 3 weeks prior to airing.
TV rating: 2.5
Commentators: Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler
Raw on the Roof intro song sucks but the video’s really cool – contains snippets later used in the DX video
OWEN HART VS JEFF HARDY
Wow! Oh wait. It’s Jobber Jeff hardy. Owen’s wearing my favourite of his attire, two-time Slammy award winner tights. Jeff literally gets no offense. Rocket dropkicks him, decides against a sharpshooter and pins instead. Then Yokozuna squishes Jeff, “641 pounds coming down at the speed of gravity” as Vince calls it, and then Diesel runs the heels off.
CHAPARITA ASARI VS AJA KONG
A Japanese women’s match? We’re at another peak in McMahons stop-start push for a women’s division. ASARI really looks like the red ranger/JTL. She initially fails and just repeats the Kronus chick spot which ends in a backwards dropkick. Wow, check out ref Mike Chiota’s wonderful corrugated mullet. Kong looks like a female Mabel. Fable. She hits an amazing package Piledriver (although back facing the hard camera). Lots of snapmares, lots of kicks. Her gimmick is the dominant larger woman and Asari tries to knock her down. Fucking gorgeous corkscrew moonsault (aka Vince’s “this daring manouvre”) which misses and is sandbagged by the commentators and crowd. Much like Amazing Kong, Aja Kong hits a spinning back fist, which seals the win. Damn, these ladies can wrestle, but were not over and not given featured time, and the commentators don’t care, so it’s a losing battle. They were grooming her to take on Women’s Champion Alundra Blaze but lost interest and didn’t re-sign Blaze (so she showed up in WCW with the belt instead). That was the nail in the coffin until they brought the women’s division back in 98.
SHAWN MICHAELS SIT-DOWN INTERVIEW WITH TODD PETTENGILL
Shawn (shockingly) fumbles over his words “I’m not suffering from any symptoms my doctors claim I have”. What? He dodges giving a return date and gets upset being asked about possibly retiring.
Ad for Bulldog vs Bret at this Sunday’s in your house. The Mancunian barks “YURR SCURRED, HITMAN!” (You’re scared, Hitman)
AHMED JOHNSON VS RICK STOCKHAUSER
THE Rick Stockhauser to you, buddy. Unlike Jobber Jeff Hardy, Rick doesn’t even get an on-screen graphic, never mind an entrance or ring announcement. Inset promo with dean Douglas pimping his match with Ahmed at December’s In Your House. Sloppy spine buster and pearl river plunge (the jobber looks like a frog) and Johnson gets the win. Post match, Jerry The Mullet Lawler insults/interviews Ahmed. (he asks if the toughest 4 years of his life were the 4th grade, ha!)
Lots of non-wrestling next. Doc Hendrix hocks WWF wrestler denim jackets. Awesome. Oh man. YES. Then a Happy Holidays featuring a police lineup of WWF Santas as one of them was makin’ kids cry, brah. Next is a cool black and white RAW Bowl ad for New Years (featuring College Kane). In-ring, Vince interviews the Million Dollar Corporation, Ted DiBiase’s tag team of Sid and newly heel 123 Kid. He prognosticates the team will cut it, and be the next tag champions. Fewer predictions would be more wrong! Horrendous opening-level promos by both. Sid says they’ll enjoy beating Razor. Vince isn’t impressed.
MAIN EVENT: HAIL TO THE CHIMP! It’s Duckarse BOB BACKLUND VS BRET HART
To promote it they had a promo package replete with flu puns, Bret will inoculate him, Backlund virus etc. Stone-faced scowling Diana hart is in the crowd, Bret’s sister and Bulldog’s wife. She blankly answers Lawler’s questions like it was actually real and not entertainment. He asks about Bulldog being with heel Cornette. “I’m for Davey’s association with Jimmy Cornette because he’s the only one to get him a title shot (at Bret’s title).” Fair enough!
Bret and Backlund, what a star-studded affair! I love Bret, but the lads have a boring, countering mat-wrestling affair. Bret makes total sense of applying a waist lock, ducking hiding behind the back as Backlund looks to back elbow Bret to get out of it. Backlund takes control with multiple rest spots, repeated lying down arm bars, working the left arm with a view to a chicken wing. Two ads during this 12 minute match. Cool that they left in the ads, there’s a fair amount of them – like karate fighters and “erector” (aka ghetto mecano) Ticker at the bottom plugs Vince’s infamous AOL chat! Bret hits the closing sequence countering a slam into a body press. When about to apply the sharpshooter we get the New Generation/2014 RAW finish of a run-in and DQ. Bulldog and Backlund put the boots to Bret, until WORZEL takes command! The officials are largely ineffective so Vince calls for monsoon to see us out.
Overall, a tight 46 minutes. A easy watch, but they’re seriously hurting for star talent and decent matches. During the dark (but bright neon) days where business was way down with no way out in sight. Can’t say I’m intrigued to watch “In Your House 5: Seasons Beatings” but random RAWs are pretty cool.
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