OSW Review | Tough Enough S6E03 “Who Are You?”
Hellllooooo
Noggers
July 8, 2015
|
by Jay Hunter

Tough Enough S6E03 “Who Are You?”


TOUGH ENOUGH S6E03

Double episode length this week (41 minutes). I wonder if this season will finish a week earlier now…
Dianna works the reality TV routine “it sucks that I don’t get along with anybody. One half are bitches, the other half are boring. I just wanna go home” this is the forced drama WWE want, but she actually quits! The judges bury her first chance they get.

• Woot! Seth Rollins! First Challenge is to do a ring entrance for a silly gimmick (cutting a promo as this character would’ve been far more insightful). Rollins says the character you’re given might not jibe with your actual personality (Man, get Sparky Plugg in for this!). Of course it’s just an excuse for silly costumes: We have “British Brawler” (Josh who smokes on the way to the ring, OOC style!), “Bitchy Boss” (Giorgia), “Barbie doll” (perfect for plastic face/tits Amanda), “King of the Ring” (Egyptian Mada dresses like a Pharaoh), “Fallen Angel” (Daria, who literally starts bumping/falling!), “Stud Muffin” (Tanner, who botches jumping into the ring), “American hero” (ZZ, who moves like a CAW; the judges hate his Santino comedy gimmick), “Queen of Mean” (Sara Lee, who can’t be mean), “Evil intellect” (Patrick, who uses Lita’s dog as a prop), and “Farmer’s Daughter” (the brazilian Gabi, who whores it up with fishnets). It’s cool that this is taped during the week so it’s up to date (TE1 was recorded before Austin’s 2001 heel turn but aired afterwards). Seth leaves before seeing the finished products making his appearance almost as useless as Roman’s last week. Patrick wins, despite not speaking and others looking their part/showing more personality.

ZZ sulks as he bombed, Gabi and Sara Lee decide to team up (in the fakest bullshit storyline angle), and Patrick and Tanner tussle (it looked like Patrick had the upper hand in those few seconds). Patrick’s a wrestling coach back in D.C. and wrestled amateur in a Military Academy. Tanner calls him out later about not mentioning it, and Patrick expertly bats it away saying it’s the WWE way of wrestling that matters.

Paige settles in nicely to the vindictive Simon Cowell role, she keeps cutting across DB to give out. Hulkster’s the grumpy grandpa who’s far too old to give a shit, and Bryan’s the lovely nice guy. Paige hates Sara for being too nice but loves Giorgia for being too cute, and pledges to put Sara Lee in the bottom 3 each week until she improves.

Bottom 3: Daria (who did nothing), Sara Lee (again via Page) and ZZ (again via Hulkster). They do their entrances again to sway voting. Should’ve let them enter the stage again to reveal the costume instead of “hey just start walking”. Oh man, Sara Lee just awkwardly sneers. It was v poor but the judges think it’s better. I like her from what little I’ve seen. She’s seems goofy reminds me of Bayley. Imagine Bayley trying to do a bitch gimmick! Everyone brings attention to ZZ’s junk (if he stuffs it). He KILLS it working the crowd and explaining his character. Daria’s entrance was much more serious/boring but the judges approve.

Final plea: Daria pushes her MMA background and Paige takes umbrage with it. Death. ZZ talks about making kids laugh brah. Sara Lee revoices last week’s plea of she won’t give up (*Cena tune*). Jericho asks the opinions of the other contestants, ending with “a lot of people with opinions but those opinions don’t matter, text/tweet etc” well why did you ask them then?! No saves from the judges.

ZZ wins with 52%, Daria’s voted off with just 14%. DEAFENING silence following it. Renee hassles her for her reaction (Daria’s still stunned) and pushes LGBT community support, it’s weird WWE wouldn’t keep her on to exploit that. She holds herself well.
• Separate instances of CLAPPING final tally xxxxxxxxxxxxx = 13 TIMES

Overall: An improvement over last week. There’s only one challenge in a double-length show, but WWE do a good job with it, extending the final segment, so more time spent with contestants having to think on their feet. It’s not a good show, but it is better!



TOUGH TALK

• Bryan and Hulk give Daria positive advice (noting her qualities; if you want to be in wrestling, get there), and she shows why she shouldn’t have been eliminated – she does a great job turning it into a big shouting match with Gabi and Amanda, which is exactly what Vince & Dunn want in a reality show: gorgeous skanks bitching, reinforcing the negative stereotype. Somewhere out there, Vince Russo is shouting OH GAWD BRO, THIS IS EMMY TE-LE-VISION BRO! It’s a big portion of Tough Talk, Bryan laments outing her for elimination afterwards. We still have the Brazilian Gold-digger Gabi as the Queen bitch who works the other contestants, bringing the drama; so dropping Amanda (or Giorgia, or Josh) would’ve been better for the overall quality of the show.

• Oh man. Miz plugs the Beast in the East show, and Patrick‘s the only one who watched live. Patrick’s just won the hearts of every wrestling fan watching the show. Hogan (and Paige revoices) to just end the competition and give it to him, to a rousing applause. From then on it’s shooting fish in a barrel putting him over and chastising the others. Patrick shows he knows both what viewers and judges want to hear – he MURDERS everyone saying the right things (“Indy experience doesn’t matter, I’m here to learn the WWE way”). It was a thing of beauty. He bats away any verbal jabs by Tanner, who outs himself as a liar, saying he watched Beast in the East later but can’t answer a follow-up question. Paige suggests they should kiss and make up and Patrick backs off; Miz asks if that’s real and Tanner asks if Miz wants some. Hilarious.

Giorgia is very much the Lance Storm student, who doesn’t create drama, excels physically but doesn’t show much personality, and is courteous and professional. She’s the female winner of the last two challenges. Hmm. Mike (the Hammer) got eliminated for saying ZZ’s the worst of them all, even the women…but the women are judged separately! It’s probably just the way he said it, using women as an insult, and Paige raking him over hot coals.

• Elsewhere, Hogan says he sees greatness in ZZ but is terrible physically, Mada is pressed about seeing rough things in his life in Egypt (eg tanks being outside his house), both himself and Josh talk about not seeing their kids, and the Sara Lee/Gabi “alliance” (as Sara Lee calls it) is brought up, holy shit it’s so fake. She literally asks Miz for cues and what she’s doing is ok. End on a slow-mo of Daria crying and we’re done.

Overall: Shouldn’t have eliminated Daria, esp. with her beef with Gabi, and promoting her LGBT background would be good for WWE. You do not need to watch the main show! Watch Tough Talk for the Patrick segment, schooling the lads.

WWE Beast in the East Review: OSWreview.com/wwe-beast-in-the-east
Last week’s Tough Enough Review: OSWreview.com/tough-enough-602

Question! Is Patrick your new boy?

UPDATE: Wanna hear some ol’ bullshit? Tough Enough are adding A NEW contestant after THREE WEEKS of elimination. AND….it’s WWE’s Claire Lynch! (aka Megan Miller). In reality she’s another of Lance’s students and had a WWE tryout in January. I know nobody’s watching this show, but shit, this is a huge fuck you to both the other participants and the viewers. Well, viewer. I’m not joking when I say WHAT ABOUT THE RULES?