OSW Review | 7 Below (2012)
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Noggers

7 Below (2012)


Cast/Crew: Directed/written by Kevin Carraway. A depressing-to-look-at Val Kilmer, Matt Barr (Brandon from American Pie Band Camp), Rebecca Da Costa (stilted actress) and Ving Rhames (Marsellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction; the guy who ushers them into the house, that’s convenient!).

Plot: A group of people (who are travelling in the middle of nowhere) crash their car, and go into a spooky house where ‘scary’ things happen. Bah gawd, murders took place in that house 100 years ago.

Good points :
• The trailer successfully hoodwinks you into thinking this isn’t an awful film.

Bad points : 
• The plot is pretty derivative
• The Freaky kids gimmick is completely ineffective
• No tension
• Predictably lame shock horror/startling scares
• Ving Rhames. His speeches are so awful. His final monologue is particularly cringe-worthy.
• No nudity. This film is not anywhere near good enough to think it’s above nudity.

Overall: You get the idea! I’ll just stop there, this is one of the worst films I’ve ever sat through, but not terrible enough to be any good. Avoid!

Details

Release Date
August 21, 2014
Type