Category: Written Reviews

Tough Enough Week 9

TOUGH ENOUGH

• The Penultimate edition of Tough Enough! 5 contestants remain: Josh, Tanner and ZZ for the guys, and Sara Lee and Amanda for the girls.
• Paige informs us since there’s only 2 women left, fans vote on the final 3 men for elimination.
• I said it last week, Josh is WWE’s boy, so you’re fucked Tanner! He and Amanda don’t get it’s a popularity contest – and blame the WWE universe for keeping Sara and ZZ, instead of finding a way to gain popularity.
• The final 5 set up the NXT ring. When completed, Booker says “pat yourselves on the back”, and only Tanner and Josh do (I wonder if either meant it like Barry Horowitz!). Not a Challenge, but we get Create-a-finisher!
• Sarah Lee (Russian leg sweep into arm bar), Tanner (The “Randy O” special, top rope cross body – that has to be a rib on how bland and generic he is, as it’s given to boring white-meat babyfaces starting off, like Randy Orton in 2002) Billy suggests yelling to try hide his lack of facial expression. Josh suggests a powerbomb but it’s immediately nixed because of safety (Dammit D’lo!). They give him the Ho Train instead (LOL!) into a powerslam. Amanda gets the Dudley Dog (running up the corner, as opposed to Trish’s bulldog off the ropes).
• René refers to ZZ as the Gator King. Woah. Nice! He gets a flapjack into the “Gator Grip”, which is just holding someone’s jaw and both guys selling with facials – something even the Great Khali could do. This is PERFECT for ZZ. He even comes up with a ‘snap’ gesture (like the lasso prior to a DDT) and a catchphrase “don’t get bit, by the Gator Grip”. Awesome. Murders everyone else.
• It’s a bit odd that ZZ and Sara practically never interact, considering their similar circumstances (bottom of their class but with massive fan support)
• A rare occurance, ZZ fucks up by telling his housemates “Other than cardio, I am what this business is”. The judges rake him over hot coals about trumping himself up (“so you’re a liar”) and he doesn’t deal with it well. Always find it weird how WWE fight with it’s fans – you don’t like what you like! You like who I tell you to like! Why not make better, accentuate his positives instead of trying to bring him down? It feels spiteful, every contestant is WWE’s contestant…
• It’s not news but ah man, the never-ending rounds of clapping. It’s so obnoxious and false, and they’re already covering themselves with the horrific autotune pop soundtrack! I wish we could see Vince just off-stage gesturing “clap goddammit!”. That would be incredible and turn this into a 10.
• There’s no “who’ll be in the bottom three?” segment so they ask everyone rapid fire questions. Paige grills Sara and then interrupts and gives out. What a huge bitch. It’s disappointing that the live audience do not boo Paige one bit. Tanner comes off much better, saying his lack of showing emotions is a defence mechanism from how he was raised, and says he has to work on showing it more facially.
• They hyped up Bryan pretending to make this hard decision not to save anyone. As it turns out, he really, really should’ve done it for WWE to get their way. No saves.
• Final pleas: Josh does the best, pushing his new catchphrase “bringing the sauce” and gives the lollipop to Paige. That confirms Tanner going! He’s out with just 20%. Wow – JOSH actually won the voting with 46%, ZZ being a good 20% less than expected. Their burying has paid off!
• Jericho lets us know that the two pairs will have wrestling matches next week – making their create-a-finisher segment more relevant. Can’t wait to see them incorporate it!
• WWE cut to the final 4 graphic they had on standby and we’re done.

Overall: Sadly it’s a very much a “show before the show”, the create-a-finisher segment was the most interesting, but with the elimination obvious, it was a missable edition.

TOUGH TALK

• Tanner uses his final interview time to politely chastise the audience, frustrated with the voting pattern. Byron actually proposes that it is a popularity contest.
• Bryan consoles Tanner saying he sees himself a lot in WWE, saying he didn’t have personality beforehand, and it can be learned. He’s far too modest to the point of lying. I HAVE ‘TIL FIVE!
• Chatting to Tanner is used as a springboard to turn on ZZ. It’s like a fucking Fox news debate. The judges, especially Paige, pick at him for the next 2/3 of the episode, hoping he’ll heel turn. “What’s ZZ *REALLY *like behind the scenes?”. “You’ve a minor in psychology, are you manipulating all of us?!” Oh go fuck yourself. Miz just calls him a liar outright. However Bryan’s so nice, he tells him he didn’t want to say it on TV, but he’s not trying half as hard as the others do cardio-wise.
• Their burial of ZZ is an awful watch and a transparent attempt trying to influence voting. Sadly, he doesn’t handle it well, sticking to what he’s said beforehand. He should’ve said he can’t ‘go’ like they go, yet. His max stamina is the best it’s ever been and improving every day; just next to the athletes, it looks bad. The judges close it with don’t be lazy and take the WWE universe for granted (as they do with Sarah Lee).
• Paige corrects Byron calling the ladies “ladies” as opposed to Divas. They’re not Divas – they don’t have a proper WWE contract.
• Amanda’s plea for votes is that she just plays a bitch character, she can turn it on and off, and she’s actually nice. A smart idea but I don’t think anything she could say will make a difference – Sarah Lee’s winning the popular vote. BTW, being a heel character outside of a promo class segment makes her a heel to the TE audience, which will always lose a popularity contest. Being prodded, she reveals she has a small congenital bald spot (another thing to make her more likeable). However this work is undone immediately.
• What happens next is a disgrace – Amanda literally calls Sarah Lee a RING RAT, and equally as bad, Paige milks for all it’s worth, boorishly agreeing with it as if it’s gospel. It’s wildly classless and a really trashy, scumbag accusation. (A ring rat is a tramp that tries to sleep with wrestlers, btw). Amanda did mention she’s trying to get inside Sarah’s head, but this is a lose-lose situation – whether it’s true or false, she’s publicly making damaging, unprofessional accusations for personal gain. Trying to take down Sarah rather than building herself up. Fun trivia, Coach Lita was well known for blowing the entire ECW locker-room and sleeping with anyone that would train her. Sarah Lee does very well to not let it rattle her. She says of course it’s untrue, and that’s about it. The burying continues – Byron hassles Sara about her nose ring. “Whatcha do, wake up one morning and say I’d like a nose ring?” Paige demands she give a gimmick name (and not “Sara Lee” like the cake). I would’ve said something bitterly smarky but she says “Smyle” because they’re always giving out about her smiling. And mercifully the show ends.
• Sadly the matches next week will be against Cesaro and Alicia Fox, not too newbs together (which would’ve been AMAZING) It could’ve killed the business!

Overall, the worst episode of Tough Talk. The shameless scrutinising of ZZ & Sara Lee to try influence next week’s final voting made for a horrific watch. Sarah did a much better job of deflecting it, ZZ could actually lose this. I hope WWE have to give them both a quarter million! Serves you right!

A NEW OSW review dropped last night! Simulcast RAW: OSWreview.com/media/oswreview52
Latest film review: Scream 2 OSWreview.com/reviews
OSW Dublin Comic Con Panel: OSWreview.com/dublincomiccon

There will be a few more What Bar brown t-shirt/bar combos available over the next day at SquaredCircle.com/category/t-shirts-partners?page=2 but I’m not sure when the site will be updated!

August 19, 2015
Tough Enough Week 8

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TOUGH ENOUGH WEEK 8

• Only 6 competitors left! René looks great in a leather jacket
• Fashionista Jericho (sleeveless hoodie, bare chested, with a scarf) is showing more skin than the ladies. He congratulates the remaining peeps for surviving this far. They talk about ZZ and Sara having the popular vote for some unknown reason, sneakily planting that they aren’t worried about being in the bottom 3 (subtext: they’re taking you for granted, WWE universe! Stop fucking voting for them!)
• Do Americans all drink liquor out of red plastic cups? I thought that was a college movie thing.
• WWE test something very important, ability to drink, then get up & wrestle the next morning. They do headlock and shoulder tackle drills – maybe it’s just the footage but they looked poor.
• CHALLENGE 1: They pair up to try tell a storyline in the ring. This is a fantastic idea, I wish WWE would take their own advice. Kicking out of each other’s finishers is cheap.
• They have an audience, the NXT roster! I hope they’re not too embarrassed what they see. It’s a bit of a slap in the face making the NXT peeps pretend to be excited for these fuckwits play wrestle, — contestants are gunning for a legitimate $250,000 contract, whilst some of these actual wrestlers were brought in at $30,000.
• They chant truffle shuffle at ZZ; who is topless. I wonder if they ever forced Bubba Dudley to wrestle topless.
• ZZ/Josh (“Try outsmart the big guy”). Blah. Being highly edited with loud rock music/’crowd’ reaction, lots of slow motion camera effects, you can’t get a feel of how it actually went. ZZ shows the most personality, shaking/biting the ropes etc.
• Amanda/Sara Lee (“mean heel vs nice girl”) HUGE groan when I heard Amanda explain this. Jaysus, nice creativity. It looked horrible but the coaches said it was grand. Booker gets angry for Sara pulling a Marty Jannetty, constantly smiling.
• Tanner/Gigi (“you dumped me”). Had the most potential for a great storyline match (especially with an intergender match) but like the previous two, it was just using basic hip-tosses and shoulder tackles – no real match or storyline drama. Despite supposedly being a face Gigi got booed and worked heel (admonishing the crowd). Winner: Josh. Loser: Sara Lee.
• The girls read out mean tweets, which would been SO much funnier read out in front of the live audience! Seriously. Read out one mean tweet each live at Full Sail.
• John Cena‘s here and in a horrific blinding orange and green new merch. But WHAT BAR is he? Cena the phony character shows up, shit. He says “many people are calling Tough Enough the greatest show in the history of shows”. He recites his ‘go get ’em’ script and leaves 2 minutes later. Fucking useless!
• BOTTOM 3: Tanner (Miz, lack of charisma), Sara Lee (Paige, big surprise, calls her a C+ player), Gigi (Bryan, for a babyface getting booed). Final pleas – Gigi (aint no stopping me nowwww, ok) Tanner (nothing u can teach that I can’t learn, very good) Sara Lee (improving, never give up, good). Bryan (the only judge with a save) – No saves. You’re fucked Gigi! She loses with 22%, Of course Sara wins with 43%, so Gigi’s going home.

Overall: Really evident this week – The format of the show really strips the feel of actual performances, making the show kinda useless. It’s like if RAW was presented solely as a 5-minute recap YouTube video, you don’t get a good sense of what actually happened. Seeing them try to pull of a match live would’ve been compelling TV but perhaps it would’ve exposed them as terrible wrestlers (but sink or swim is supposed to be the draw of the show!). Cena’s appearance was channel-changing fluff. Sadly, avoid.

TOUGH TALK WEEK 8
• Gigi looks genuinely upset and is grateful for her opportunity. Although this show is a terrible indicator of actual talent, of the women she looks to be the best fit, and not having the Tough Enough “Maven” stigma (should she get a developmental deal) would be good for her. The judges console her with positive advice.
• Byron asks boring questions. Conversely the hosts try spicy questions, but the contestants don’t bite. It makes for mustn’t-watch TV.
• Paige was only obnoxious once (twice if you count picking on Sara) so that’s an improvement. Bryan said almost nothing on both shows, reiterating points others made – he has already checked out. Miz wasn’t trolling this week. It needs to be said though – Miz dresses similarly but way better than Jericho.
• Tanner: They’re overly tough on him, chastising his lack of charisma, but at the final 6, its easy to be in the bottom 3.They manage to get him to bitch about ZZ not improving physically and lasting 2 minutes (heh) while he grinds every day (also heh). He comes off as obviously frustrated (similar to GiGi), and unwisely presents his positive attributes (cardio/skills etc) as a weapon against ZZ, as opposed to rallying support for himself. People just see that as picking on ZZ.
• Josh: The judges reiterate the coaches’ boy; the tallest, biggest guy there: Josh, saying he has the IT factor. He tries not to take sides but eventually chooses Tanner as a better in-ring partner. ZZ sweet talks the crowd, standing up for himself and wins that argument. Paige slyly quips he’s such a good manipulator.
• Byron remembers to ask the women (as Amanda and Sara are the final 2 women) but have to abruptly end the show…so I guess we’re out!
• So next week, put me down, Tanner will get eliminated – Sara can’t be the only woman going into the final show (so Amanda can’t go), ZZ’s not going, and Josh is their new boy, and comes off better than Tanner. I know she’s pretty but I’m shocked Amanda’s lasted as long as she has; perhaps as the sidekick of the main bitch she’s coasted under the radar.

Overall: Despite being the 3rd last week (and initially a hot crowd that they killed) it was quite a ho-hum low-key episode. Nothing memorable, WWE repeatedly (what I’d class as spitefully) mentioning that ZZ and Sara are there just because of their fans, for some intangible reason. They planted the “taking your fans for granted” card with Sara and it bore out with her dropping 10% of her voting dominance. They’d better have judges voting the winners in, otherwise its a slam dunk with Sara and ZZ, which it’s been since pretty early on. It’s weird how after 14,000 applicants that this group were the best. Verdict? How can I say it nicely? Well I saved you 90 minutes!

OSW Panel at Dublin Comic Con: Pics & review! OSWreview.com/dublincomiccon

Lastest update on the next OSW episode: OSWreview.com/osw-update-august-6

We’re sold out of brown what bar tees/choccies at the moment but there will be a few more on sale once shipped numbers are finalised (give it a few days), but the black tee is available now!
US: Merchnow.com/catalogs/squared-circle-clothing
UK: SquaredCircle.com/category/t-shirts-partners[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

August 12, 2015
Dublin Comic Con Panel!

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Wrestling is…Awesome! hosted by OSW
Dublin Comic Con @ Dublin Convention Centre
9th August, 2015

• Sorry there isn’t an audio version – the recording is unusable 🙁 You’ll have to make do with me recapping it here! BTW that’s Jay in the waistcoat, V1 in the grey shirt and OOC’s the tall one in the black jacket.
• The idea to do a panel in Ireland is thanks to our brah Nathan (pictured just above) who asked me about doing a panel at a Con after we announced the Ric Flair gig. Thanks Nathan! He also gave us each a sweet WINNER medal! We wore them out to the pub/club.
• It probably sounds cheesy but hanging out with our fans was far more enjoyable than meeting Flair! He showed up in loafers (no socks!) and a polo shirt – no chance of Naitchin’! Our fans are so nice it gave us confidence to submit an application to DCC.
• We hoped for like 20 people, but over 150 brahs (and bras) showed up! Was incredible. As V1 described it to the staff ushering us in, we’re a niche of a niche of a niche! She had the funniest half-compliment of “I’ve no idea who you guys are, but your queue is huge”. We assumed the queue was for the Charity Auction (Panel Room 1) or the Walking Dead photoshoot!
• It’s difficult to describe the feeling of seeing so many come to see us. We were blown away. OSW episodes are recorded at my sitting room table (the Yetay propped up by Jericho & Bischoff’s 1st books), it’s pretty ghetto! I know some people watch the show but it’s surreal to see it translate into actual peeps waiting around until the last Panel Sunday evening to see you!
• The first 5 minutes was us faffing around setting up the OSW X7 banners I brought. Completely unecessary as it turns out but hope you guys dug them!
• I gave some backstage info/trivia like about our recording sessions (Survivor Series 89 was recorded twice because V1 wasn’t around the first time), Neo/Niall (if you’re reading this, we love you and want you to come home!) and storylines we plan on doing (X7 wasn’t our original choice, it was actually See No Evil 1 & 2, then the May 19th Storyline). OOC is listed second in the credits because I guarantee he’d give out if he was listed third.
• One guy was dressed as Mankind (which was pretty sweet). I told him never to do stand up 😀 We learned that Garvin’s not nearly as over in 2015 as he was 2 years ago, so we gotta do something to highlight Rubbish Ronnie. V1 pushed Funlay/Regal as always and tried to besmerch the KING OF THE ROAD match. Queried about Taz being a boy: ECW no, WWF yes. I said he’s like a “nubile boy” and thankfully the police didn’t take us away.
• We gave a quick history of the show and did our OSW Alphabet game, getting the audience to shout out ideas for letters.
• V1 brought dozens of cans of coke and bars to give to anyone that made him laugh. Went over a treat. Give that man a can of coke!
• None of us had notes besides the alphabet! We were just buzzing off each other and the crowd for the hour. I wish I took more pictures and that but we were pretty hyped by the whole event!
• We did get the crowd to do a “welcome noggers”/”happy days are here again!” which was so awesome.
• DCC Staff started shuffling us (opening doors etc) at 5:15 (an hour after we started) and we just didn’t really budge, spent another 30-45m chatting to people afterwards. I told people their Virgil dollars were good for a free photo op with the man himself! Wish we got to spend more time, everyone was so lovely! Young Karl O’Donnell gave us a sweet signed Pitboy dollar!
• The tech guy actually cut our audio before we signed off, so I had to bellow out “it’s a goodbye from OOC, and V1, and myself Jay Hunter, and remember, a winner is you!”
• We went to the Ferryman afterwards and ended up drinking until about 4:30. OOC had the right idea of taking Monday off!

Here’s my OSW Alphabet:
A Aloha Arn
B Boy
C Cunt Hogan (Catfiiiiiiight!) (V1 coughs)
D Doink Brah, Dammit D’lo! Dirty lee
E Eric Bischoff’s theme. Etched in stone. Excloosiv Pucktures!
F Fruit Booty (JBL), Farty Pyro, Funlay
G Garvin For HOF – never got to ask V1 about Gruesome Grannies
H Happy Days are Here again!
I It’s Tazz (We did the song)
J Jerry Lynn!
K Kronus
L Lesbian Pollen
M Muster Choppie
N Nogger!
O OOC’s Tenner
P Paul! Paul!
Q Quick rub & squeezy squeezy
R Robogarda
S STATE of your hair mate
T Take a boo, TRI, Total Elimination (V1 coughs!)
U Undertaker impression
V Vinnie Jones
W Worzel Alert
X X-Pac, X-Men 3
Y Yetay, You’re Outta Here
Z Zodiac, Zombie Linda

Anyway it’s back to editing Simulcast RAW. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone that came to see us. We’re quite shy so it’s a bit embarrassing, humbling but so amazing! I’ll never forget walking into the room first and be taken aback, everyone staring at us, and going HELLOOOO! and everyone cheering. Fucking incredible! Thank you!

If you’ve any pics of the event please email me at OSWreview@gmail .com!

Write-up of us on the Ric Flair tour: OSWreview.com/ric-flair-tour[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

August 10, 2015
Tough Enough Week 7

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• Kick off! The judges take turns quickly giving each participant a piece of advice. Great little add-in. However they’ve re-added the long bouts of clapping before and after the break, and the awful generic pop soundtrack is more pervasive than ever.
• Amanda is happy to have her looks help her get to the top, and ZZ is shown sulking about nobody wanting him here. He looks like he’s lost weight (later he says 8 pounds). This week’s challenges centre around pairing up and teamwork.
• Challenge 1: Work together for a quick in-ring sequence. Billy reads ZZ the riot act for gassing out in 2 minutes. A big hoopla is made over Sara Lee botching a powerslam (Daniel Bryan rightly points out it didn’t look that bad, as is disappointed in Gigi for playing it up), whilst Josh & Tanner kill it, winning the challenge. Josh gets the shine – He’s the guy WWE want, as the tallest/biggest guy. He’s put over as super-focused and capable. I get this is a reality show so they need to show “interesting” activities to grab ratings, but how is this a decent evaluation of in-ring talent? How is any of this useful?! 😀
• Miz oddly heels out on the fans, calls ZZ a lazy underachiever ‘which the fans can relate to’. Everyone reacts mildly surprised.
• Josh offers Tanner to hit on him to up his game (e.g. pretend I’m a woman) real reality TV fodder. They play it up on Tough Talk, boo.
• Challenge 2: Fireman (not the carry) rescue exercise – attach a hose to a fire hydrant, put out a fire, find a dummy survivor and get out. featuring the Prime Time Players! They show up with their tag belts. This sequence is INTENSELY edited (even for a reality show) so it’s just a mess. ZZ (who has experience as a volunteer fire fighter) and Tanner do the best, giving ZZ some much-needed props. Josh is shown as doing almost everything himself, but this doesn’t bite him in the ass.
• Calmer hen clucking as Chelsea admits to intentionally not working together with Amanda, wanting to stand out regardless of instructions. She’s gonna get put in the bottom 3 for that remark.
• BOTTOM 3: Amanda (Miz, a segment early, says him saving her went straight to her head) Gigi (Bryan, for over-reacting about the powerslam) and Sara Lee (Paige, for not apologising after botching the powerslam). So…none of those are really teamwork reasons, which the challenges centred around. Hang on! AMAZING swerve by Miz, he changes his nomination to Chelsea, for awful teamwork. What a troll.
• Final 30s Plea: Sara-Lee (“I’m here to learn” – meh), Gigi (“I need to be here” – very good), Chelsea (heelish “I deserve to be here” – good, but you won’t win sympathy with it). Weird to see an all-female bottom 3, first time that’s happened. Paige saves Gigi (which gets a big pop – she would’ve gone home), meaning Chelsea’s fucked. As the 2nd lowest with 25%, Chelsea’s gone. She puts over Gigi to win it, and we’re done

Overall: Oh man, it’s difficult to find things to praise about this week’s show. Em…my 5 minute review will save you watching 90 minutes?

TOUGH TALK
• Hilarious new graphic. I didn’t see the ring ropes for DB and Paige, thought they were posing like rappers. B Dazzle is back! He has to be prodded so say anything – his head was somewhere else this week. He just keeps grinding the same point about Chelsea playing up whining about a somewhat dangerous powerslam.
• Amanda: Paige says she would’ve nominated her for elimination, but didn’t as Miz said he would. They make Amanda out to look really bad, very shallow, and is put in a tight position and ends up slagging Chelsea’s looks. She should’ve referenced that she came to Chelsea nicely about their poor performance in the challenge, who responded by saying she’s basically going into business for herself.
• Gigi: Frustrated that she’s was in the bottom 3, as she’s been performing in challenges. Paige has really toned it down this week – great! – she gives out that TE is a popularity contest, indirectly jabbing Sara Lee. 52% of the votes! Take that WWE! This “Sara’s a liability” conversation lasts an ice age. She butts in to defend herself, giving us a perfect visual of Tough Enough and the fans’ (and my) voting preferences.
• The next 10 minutes is spent burying ZZ: Miz likens him to Daniel Puder (the fan favourite who was gone a year later). Kurt must not be anywhere close to coming back to WWE, but I appreciated the Tough Enough Season 4 reference. (Angle was embarassed by MMA-background Puder in a quickie shoot-fight on Smackdown – the most notable thing to come out of ANY tough enough season). Bryan HOUNDS ZZ about basically lying about wanting to get in shape. Smartly (and very tellingly) Miz asks about ZZ being a three-time Reality show star (the implication being ZZ’s not interested in being a wrestler). FYI, ZZ was on “Trading Spouses” when his mother traded places with a vegan mom when he was 8, and again was “Swamp People” when he was 16.
• Force that Josh/Tanner bromance deal again and we’re done.

Overall: Sadly it’s another forgettable week, Byron Saxton did a poor job keeping Tough Talk moving along, and it’s not enjoyable seeing WWE bury ZZ or making Amanda look bad. It doesn’t work well to have your top babyface as boring heel with no-one to take his place. But hey, Tough Enough is about people wanting to become wrestlers, and so it’s always interesting to me. It feels like Lance Storm’s students (Chelsea & Gigi) are the only actually decent hires out of the bunch (I can’t see Josh, Tanner or ZZ becoming anything/sticking around long term). Nevermind though, there’s only 3 weeks left! And Cena’ll show up next time.

[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]My boy Raff from the Wrestling is Wrestling Podcast did a Tough Enough review video!

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August 5, 2015
Tough Enough Week 6

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• WWE fired Hogan just before the transcript of his 2006 racist rant was leaked. Bret was the only name rumoured to talk Hulk’s place, and Tough Enough could use a veteran’s voice. They could use Scott Steiner’s voice. Imagine him cutting live promos on the men and hitting on the women!
• So in Hogan’s place is The Miz. This is a step down as now he’s not hosting Tough Talk (Bryon Saxton is). The first thing out of his mouth is talked over by the boorish Paige, who is worse than ever this week. She chastises the fans over eliminating Patrick, later on she butts in whilst Miz gives advice to ZZ, and again while he justifies his bottom 3 pick.
It’s sad that the Miz doesn’t have any type of respect despite his qualities. She wouldn’t fucking dare talk over Hulk Hogan.
• It’s like Game of Thones post-death where everyone mopes about Patrick being gone, the first significant elimination. It even kicks off with a recap of him getting the boot, a first for TE. ZZ resolves to make “his best friend” Patrick proud, by working out. (They oddly show clips of Patrick insulting him though)

• 1st Challenge: A tree-to-tree Zip-line obstacle course. Cesaro makes an appearance and says this is about focus: Complete the course but remember a number, whilst Billy Gunn tries to mess you up. Sara Lee smashes the course in 4 mins (she doesn’t get ANY credit for this) but can’t remember the code, like most, GG wins it for the females (sandbagging Billy with silence) and Tanner whoops ass as the overall winner. The prize is Jericho’s 3rd book. A prize of £11! What a shit prize! Later on, Tanner admits to only reading one chapter.
• Chelsea and Tanner are in the hot tub, and in an awkward/flirty/help-you-out way, she asks him to cut a promo on her bikini. He stutters and fails. They edit this in a way that makes him look really pathetic. Later on Byron asks him to try again, and he exasperates “Jesus Christ” twice before stumbling through a little better 2nd time around.

• 2nd Challenge: Also to test focus. Do a 3-part sequence (shoulder tackle, run-over and take a slam). Most look decent, except for ZZ, who is stymied after the first move and is throwing Mada off his game (he’s worried about himself, as he was 2nd last in the first challenge) and Amanda and Sara Lee bomb, badly. Booker chooses Josh and Chelsea as the winners.
• Amanda and GG start drama and GG cries in a woe is me it’s so hard phone call. She is never picked up on this bullshit forced TV drama. I know it’s all TV bullshit but wow, it’s bad.
• Live challenge at Full Sail, the women take a slam and splash from Tamina Snuka. Amanda Marty Jannetty’s it, massive smile on her face throughout. Oddly Chelsea takes the worst slam and Tamina goes a little harder on her and GG (ie the trained wrestlers). Is it odd that Sasha, the black NXT call-up joined the black/samoan team? Seeing The New Day (3 black guys form a faction), not really. At least Alicia Fox is with the Bellas so it’s not completely white vs non-white.

• Bottom 3: Amanda (Bryan via poor performance; Miz contends that she’s hot and Paige asks about his wife Maryse. Ha!) Mada (Miz, because he played the blame game with ZZ) and ZZ again (Paige, thinks he’s lazy and doesn’t think he can win). Mada gives the best speech out of the 3, citing his passion, body and mind, and rightly gets a round of applause afterwards. So he’s not going — You’re fucked, Amanda! Oh shit! Miz saves Amanda (Paige loudly disagrees, obviously) and we find out the rules of the save – someone’s still going home – as the 2nd lowest votes, Mada gets eliminated instead. Ah, bullshit. Crowd is taken aback and they cover the silence with the awful theme song, and we’re out!

Pretty average episode. Patrick never did much on the week-to-week show so wasnt missed. Bloom is off the rose with ZZ, he’s not being funny, he’s both sulking and sucking at the challenges. They haven’t quite thrown ZZ under the bus but they are strongly highlighting his negatives, and although he never says anything bad, they’re letting him hang himself. Still the most popular though, 4 more episodes left, he might be able to push through.

TOUGH TALK

• Bryon Saxton has taken the Miz’s place. Boo. He’s fine, like a halfway point between Michael Cole & The Miz. A step down from The Miz, who was perfect in the role.
• Mada cuts an impassioned promo on ZZ on how he works harder and wants this much more than him. He kinda destroys ZZ, and hilariously says ZZ destroyed 2 chipotle burritos. ZZ doesn’t have much to come back with, but he does get one laugh, explaining the shots of milk (toasting to Patrick) was because he’s 19 (not over 21) and shots are for decision-enhancing.
• Paige is in overdrive with the obnoxious Simon Cowell heel gimmick. She does however back up Mada, saying ZZ or Amanda should’ve gone. Miz and Paige continue arguing over Amanda staying, Miz saying she constantly gets a reaction (dropping the words heels and babyfaces), Paige contends she can’t do anything in the ring; to which Miz bellows “none of them can!” which is a great sound byte.
• Seeing Amanda chastised for only being pretty….it’s a good time to bring up that Eva Marie has resurfaced on NXT; a woman with no athleticism who was hired because she’s pretty. She’s been on a wrestling crash-course, training with Bryan Kendrick. She has improved but she’s obviously still poor. I wonder who hired her, as it directly contrasts to hiring Becky, Sasha, Charlotte etc.
• Bryan‘s closing advice for everyone is to get their fundamentals right – the basic sequences down pat (lockup, powerslam etc)
• Paige gets Byron to do his Carlton dance (which is funny, but he dances like a white guy if that makes sense) and we’re done. Couldn’t find a .gif of it!

Overall: Don’t bother this week! Here’s Mada’s closing speech that should’ve kept him in the game:

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July 29, 2015
Tough Enough Week 5

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TOUGH ENOUGH WEEK 5
• Tried to watch it on YouTube live, it was stuck on the “please wait” screen – gave up after 10 minutes. It was available in full today though, as is Tough Talk (no longer a Network exclusive).
• It’s an hour long again – USA Network must’ve given them a permanent extra half hour. There’s actually only 40 minutes of WWE content so it’s better paced now.
• Big show greets Jericho with a Jerishow reference. He stands there silently in his ring gear like a spare tit, as everyone else is dressed in street clothes or more formal attire.
• Challenge 1: “Rock on” adventure obstacle course. Tanner smokes everyone (back to the earlier status quo) and Giorgia (Gigi) wins for the female. Technically Tanner cheated by not using the 1st rope. The 2nd rope climb is the most difficult. To power through, Mada goes into “Mada mode”, which is “1,000 times beast mode”, but 30% of Brie mode. This contest was about specific types of strength, stopping a lot of the challengers. I can only imagine if they asked Big Show (in any year of his wrestling career) to do this, or Dusty Rhodes, and sent him packing. ZZ, Chelsea and Amanda are stymied by the rope climb and Chelsea ends up straining her ankle – she needs to be off it for a month.
• Patrick is being put over as arrogant and can’t back it up. He cuts a smark promo picking on ZZ. It comes off really badly. I’ve no doubt WWE is portraying him much worse than he was via the editing, and Patrick quickly mentions that later.
• We see Jericho “periscoping” the show live (broadcasting video live from his phone) which I did tune into for a bit last night – he holds his camera vertically and generally just shows the audience whilst the pre-recorded clips play on the big screen.
• Gigi, in Gabi’s absence, has taken the role of top female heel – later her and sidekick Amanda pick on Sara lee and the lads literally sit back watching and eating popcorn. It’s the funniest thing Tanner’s done, have a laugh watching the girls cluck. Gigi volunteers Chelsea’s injury status to the judges and fake cries while she does it, turning attention to herself. She comes across as vindictive bitch. She technically is right though (the best kind of heel) – Chelsea should quit rather than being forced out or possibly injuring someone. We find out later that Chelsea’s cleared and can compete again next week.

• Challenge 2: Perform a wrestling sequence of shoulder tackle, jump over and body slam; talking smack whilst you do it. Pair up and the loser does squats whilst reciting some insulting phrase. Mada wins (making Patrick squat and say “I’m bowing down to my king”) and Gigi for the girls (surprisingly, as they slam they showed was horrific). They’ve successfully taken ZZ and Patrick down a few pegs and shifted focus to Mada, a smart change to freshen things up in the overall storyline. He has not got the personality or the cardio to lead the pack though, that’ll blow up soon enough.
• Welllllll, what is Big Show here to do? A live “challenge” for the men to take a chop to the chest. Awesome, everyone has great craic. It’s like being at Ribera steakhouse! Was the perfect use of Show, and it’s his signature spot. He takes a shine to Mada hyping him up for the chop, who takes it like a boss. ZZ (who kept his undershirt on and Giant ripped it off – I hope it wasn’t his dad’s shirt)…he looked like he was shot by a cannon, crumpling afterwards. If I were Sara Lee I would’ve gotten up there to get a chop, it would’ve put her over huge and the other two women have implants so they literally couldn’t.

• Bottom 3: ZZ (Via Bryan – God help the other two), Patrick (Paige; for failing a “humility challenge”? That is bullshit, as the challenges were an obstacle course and a smack-talk sequence) and Josh (Hulk – who believes he’s good and can step up if he survives.) Paige rightly quips why not Amanda, who didn’t even finish the challenge…What a hypocrite, take your own advice instead of vindictively ‘humbling’ Patrick to get your jollies.
• Elimination: Poor Josh. Oh fuck! It’s Patrick. The crowd are shocked and give him a round of applause (not given to any other loser) He bottomed out by about 10% – it was definitely the berating of ZZ that killed him. He cuts a grateful “I’ll get humble and be back” promo and we’re done. This was Patrick’s highest chance of getting him eliminated – there was no final challenge and the impromptu 15-second plea was right before voting closed. The episode centred around how he’d gotten a big head, dismissing ZZ asking him to dial it back, and instead attacking the fan-favourite. It worked, Patrick (the only guy who knows his shit, the best all rounder, who knows what to say and the guy who desperately wants to be in WWE) was voted out. Thanks Paige.

Overall: Decent episode (relative to this season of course!), it was nice to see middle-of-the-pack Mada get some shine. Shocked/saddened to see Patrick gone, by far the biggest elimination. Watch Big show’s chops (above), that’s it.

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TOUGH TALK
• Digital Extras: ZZ does a horrific scripted promo with Jericho “I feel like I’ve had a reality check”. Oh man. Y2J gives Patrick a pep talk. He mentions one week you’re world champion and next week you’re not on the show (indirectly mentioning his 2002 Undisputed champion run – he wrestled RAW the night after he lost the belt at WMX8, wasn’t at the next PPV and didn’t have a match on RAW until August)
• Patrick correctly mentions that Miz didn’t win TE (S2, and look at him now), Bryan and Paige didn’t start off in WWE either; and later thanks Vince & Aitch, quoting Vince saying we’re a family. Perfect rhetoric! He deserves a job in WWE. Miz mentions it’s the first time people actually care about who got eliminated. More than half of the show is dedicated to Patrick, wow, it goes on a bit too long.
• Bryan laments not being able to save both ZZ and Patrick. Tanner’s grilled about his lack of promos and is told to watch more tapes. Bryan humbly says to not watch his as they’re not that good. What a lovely guy.
• Mada is incredibly timid on the mic (but is it live TV & put on the spot), needing prodding to answer Miz’s questions. Miz picks up on it and challenges him to cut a promo on him, but he doesn’t, and Miz lets him away with it.
• It’s not news but it was really bad this week, Hogan ONLY talks in generic marketing buzzwords “ya gotta turn it up, kick the afterburners on” etc, which is not helpful advice. It’s like a football manager screaming at his team to score more.
• They eek out of Amanda that Chelsea should’ve been in the bottom 3. She should’ve mentioned Chelsea couldn’t even compete in the second challenge, and it’s a week-by-week elimination, so yes. She does admit that she failed it which is good humility with no consequences (since the elimination already happened).
• The women’s angle is Sara calling Gigi fake, for giving up Chelsea’s injury straight away to the judges (and betraying what she expected to be confidential information). Gigi tries to not be the heel (being exasperated that Sara’s forgiven immediately because she’s Sara). Bryan asks who the crowd like more and Sara gets a rousing chant. Do not fuck with Sara Lee! I think she might even top ZZ as top babyface right now. Despite losing all the challenges everyone’s pulling for her. On Tough Talk, Gigi comes off as frustrated, a bit resentful, but straight-laced – what she’s saying is fair. She talks in facts rather than entertainment or personality and is visibly annoyed by Sara Lee’s popularity.
• Miz asks Patrick for a final question (“what’s the next step?”) and he says use the contacts he’s made here, get into the performance centre, he can be bigger than the Miz ever was (what a great guy). This show makes me like Miz so much more. He’s very professional, entertaining whilst still towing the company line (eg mentioning the Performance Centre) and showing his worth.

Overall: The show ran a bit long with the focus on Patrick, but it was entertaining. I’d watch the opening 5 minutes and when Gigi tries to criticise Sara Lee and the crowd shouts her down. There’s never a need to watch either though! I got ya covered 🙂[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

July 22, 2015
Tough Enough S6 Week 4

[vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][bquote prk_in=”What happened last week? Blonde Fiancée Dianna quit, and MMA Lesbian Bartender Daria was voted off. During the week it was revealed that “replacing“ Dianna is Chelsea Green; aka WWE’s version of Claire Lynch (Megan Miller, Daniel Bryan’s physiotherapist). I call bullshit! The competition is set at a final 13. Substitutions AFTER weeks of eliminations makes a joke of THE RULES! It’s also an insult to the competitors. I’m annoyed that no-one’s annoyed by this. It is addressed during Tough Talk. It’s like Orton subbing for Booker T, and winning him the US title in 2006!” type=”plain”]tricker[/bquote][vc_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzmi9fR7luo”][vc_column_text]

TOUGH ENOUGH

• Kick off with more hens clucking, however Amanda (fake Barbie) admits her yelling/picking fights is intentionally trolling Gabi, to get her to quit. This foul play isn’t referenced again, oddly.
• King Barrett arrives to talk about promos. Sucks Wade Barrett didn’t turn up. Hilarious as he’s beside King Booker and King Billy Gunn, lol. I’ll always remember Edge (after winning the 2001 KOTR, pledging to not “Billy Gunn” the KOTR). Way Barra stays for 1 minute of TV time where he asks for promos. Extremely rushed, but they do it again in….
• Challenge 1: Improv is Jericho! Pair up and cut promos on each other. They match lance’s students (Georgia & Chelsea). It’s highly-edited so it’s hard to gauge actual quality – this would be best served in the live section. And they do! (For the bottom 3). Patrick and Mada were the stand outs, your #1 & #2 respectively. Patrick insulted MMA’s Tanner on not knowing old school wrestlers like Cactus and Piper (the fans in attendance and myself ate it up) whilst Mada’s was his Pharaoh gimmick again; very intense eyes, heavy breathing, good stuff. Mada gets hot about losing and bitch Josh throws water on Patrick. Jericho tries to rile up lovely/dorky Sara Lee but she takes his criticism/smack talk as constructive advice. She tries to shout & be mean and it doesn’t work. It’s as intimidating as a baby wearing a leather jacket. It’s hilariously cute.
• Improved format: They’ve pared back Jericho’s role even more (Rene picks up the slack, does the final interview etc) and have removed rounds of applause before the judges talking – it *really* helps. If we could just calm down on the hyper-editing (used insidiously to tell the stories WWE want to tell) we’d have a much better show. Like Dianna didn’t quit because she didn’t have passion (the TV reason the judges gave), it’s because she went to help a very close friend who was attacked and paralyzed from the neck down. Fuck.
• They’ve turned Paige picking on Sara lee into an angle, as despite her trying really hard, Paige says she’s not. She still needs to reel it in, bellowing out confrontational remarks which only she finds funny and cutting over Bryan, Hulk and the contestants.
• Challenge 2: PowerSlam drills. Sara Lee can’t take or perform it correctly. Chelsea (who stank at promos) wins it for the females, and Josh for the males.
• Back to the judges: Hulk was actually paying attention this week! He picks Mada (the shouty big guy promo ala Zeus) as the best promo, over knowledgeable smaller guy Patrick; saying he didn’t have a character, don’t be “Patrick the Smart Mark”. The Cuntster was also obviously butt-hurt as Patrick insulted Mada by saying “the time of the big guys are over – Warrior’s gone, Hulk’s retired”. He should’ve known better than to indirectly insult a judge. You can slag Bryan, possibly Paige, *absolutely not* massive ego/hugely insecure Hogan! That said, the vindictive Smart Mark gimmick worked extremely well for CM Punk and now Kevin Owens…
• Bottom 3: Sara Lee (via Paige; not stepped up), Gabi (via Bryan, no concept of promo), Tanner (via Hulk; bad promo). They all get to cut 30 second promos on the judge that nominated them as their plea to win votes:
– Gabi: She shows she doesn’t know what a promo is and asks to not be let go. Horrific.
– Tanner: He wishes he was Tito Santana with his “I’m gonna try my best” promo. Bomb.
– Sara Lee: nothing too special “I’m gonna be a diva and face you one day” but light years above the other two.
• No saves. Jericho spoils the vote telling Sara Lee she’s not going home. I wonder if WWE are pissed that she keeps smashing the voting, despite trying to send her home. Gabi is eliminated with 11%; and Sara Lee kills it (again) with 63%. WWE do not bring this up. She’s at least the 2nd most popular in the whole thing behind ZZ.
• There’s this awkward silence as Rene shuffles on stage to prod the loser Gabi for an interview. This needs a musical sting. Gabi inexplicably says she’s happy to end this and start her training again, and she wasn’t there to pick fights. Rene goes whaaat and alrighty. In a parting face turn, Gabi hopes Sara Lee will win it.

Overall a decent episode (relative to this season) with some creative and format improvements. Focusing on promos is a far more interesting & useful gauge of talent. ZZ had almost no role in the show though…

[/vc_column_text][vc_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNlyNJww3tw”][vc_column_text]

TOUGH TALK

• Crowd bit rowdier than usual, nice. They chant for Miz.
• Bryan reads a scripted question. Jaysus c’mon mate. He also calls the PPV Battleground “Battlefield” which everyone laughs about. He expertly says Hogan called it the Superdome!
• They have Amanda and Gabi up (people groan expecting a repeat of last week’s shouting match) but they cordially disagree.
• Hogan asks Josh what was with the “bitch move” throwing water in Patrick’s face. He fobs it off saying he was acting thirsty, which the crowd accept.
• Mada and Josh whine about Patrick and it ends up as a promo battle between Mada and Patrick: Mada basically repeats his kinda generic “I’m gonna beat you up” heaving breathing promo; the strength of which is his intense eyes. Patrick has gotten a lot cockier this week, it ain’t cocky if you do it and you back it up! He kills it with the king/crown jewel/bow to me promo and gets a large round of applause.
• ZZ is charming as ever, saying being at raw this week “it…touched me” and deflects the cardio issue saying “round rolls”. He works the crowd really well. Hulkster likens him to Dusty which he graciously appreciates.
• Lita kinda says we’re far away from Season 1 of Tough Enough where the winners made an impact, which is bollocks (I know Maven had that one shocking spot eliminating Taker in the rumble, it worked as he was a nobody; and only won the hardcore title when it was passed around like lice. Nidia is best known as Jamie Noble’s trashy girlfriend and never standing in her own light)
• Chelsea (WWE’s Claire Lynch) first flubs saying getting there “it took long enough”, which people gasped. She explains it took Dianna forever to quit. She was #14 in the 13-person competition; her slotting in isn’t really fair but she’ll take it. Bryan brings up her role as his physiotherapist/Claire Lynch storyline which they laugh about, and Brie gave her a burst ear-drum (which is common; Bryan got one as well)
• Hilariously Gabi thinks Miz will shake her hand when he turns to her, but he turns away and ends the show, lol.

Overall: Some good stuff! Definite improvement from last week. Great to finally see focus on promos (in both TE and TT), not some stupid costume competition. Even Hulkster looked like he was actually paying attention and did some kind of research this week! With Gabi gone it hopefully means we’ll not have the “skanks shouting over each other” storyline anymore. And yay Sara Lee! The “boy” of Tough Enough!

Brucie Bonus video coming tonight![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

July 16, 2015
Tough Enough S6E03 “Who Are You?”

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TOUGH ENOUGH S6E03

• Double episode length this week (41 minutes). I wonder if this season will finish a week earlier now…
• Dianna works the reality TV routine “it sucks that I don’t get along with anybody. One half are bitches, the other half are boring. I just wanna go home” this is the forced drama WWE want, but she actually quits! The judges bury her first chance they get.

• Woot! Seth Rollins! First Challenge is to do a ring entrance for a silly gimmick (cutting a promo as this character would’ve been far more insightful). Rollins says the character you’re given might not jibe with your actual personality (Man, get Sparky Plugg in for this!). Of course it’s just an excuse for silly costumes: We have “British Brawler” (Josh who smokes on the way to the ring, OOC style!), “Bitchy Boss” (Giorgia), “Barbie doll” (perfect for plastic face/tits Amanda), “King of the Ring” (Egyptian Mada dresses like a Pharaoh), “Fallen Angel” (Daria, who literally starts bumping/falling!), “Stud Muffin” (Tanner, who botches jumping into the ring), “American hero” (ZZ, who moves like a CAW; the judges hate his Santino comedy gimmick), “Queen of Mean” (Sara Lee, who can’t be mean), “Evil intellect” (Patrick, who uses Lita’s dog as a prop), and “Farmer’s Daughter” (the brazilian Gabi, who whores it up with fishnets). It’s cool that this is taped during the week so it’s up to date (TE1 was recorded before Austin’s 2001 heel turn but aired afterwards). Seth leaves before seeing the finished products making his appearance almost as useless as Roman’s last week. Patrick wins, despite not speaking and others looking their part/showing more personality.

• ZZ sulks as he bombed, Gabi and Sara Lee decide to team up (in the fakest bullshit storyline angle), and Patrick and Tanner tussle (it looked like Patrick had the upper hand in those few seconds). Patrick’s a wrestling coach back in D.C. and wrestled amateur in a Military Academy. Tanner calls him out later about not mentioning it, and Patrick expertly bats it away saying it’s the WWE way of wrestling that matters.

• Paige settles in nicely to the vindictive Simon Cowell role, she keeps cutting across DB to give out. Hulkster’s the grumpy grandpa who’s far too old to give a shit, and Bryan’s the lovely nice guy. Paige hates Sara for being too nice but loves Giorgia for being too cute, and pledges to put Sara Lee in the bottom 3 each week until she improves.

• Bottom 3: Daria (who did nothing), Sara Lee (again via Page) and ZZ (again via Hulkster). They do their entrances again to sway voting. Should’ve let them enter the stage again to reveal the costume instead of “hey just start walking”. Oh man, Sara Lee just awkwardly sneers. It was v poor but the judges think it’s better. I like her from what little I’ve seen. She’s seems goofy reminds me of Bayley. Imagine Bayley trying to do a bitch gimmick! Everyone brings attention to ZZ’s junk (if he stuffs it). He KILLS it working the crowd and explaining his character. Daria’s entrance was much more serious/boring but the judges approve.

• Final plea: Daria pushes her MMA background and Paige takes umbrage with it. Death. ZZ talks about making kids laugh brah. Sara Lee revoices last week’s plea of she won’t give up (*Cena tune*). Jericho asks the opinions of the other contestants, ending with “a lot of people with opinions but those opinions don’t matter, text/tweet etc” well why did you ask them then?! No saves from the judges.

• ZZ wins with 52%, Daria’s voted off with just 14%. DEAFENING silence following it. Renee hassles her for her reaction (Daria’s still stunned) and pushes LGBT community support, it’s weird WWE wouldn’t keep her on to exploit that. She holds herself well.
• Separate instances of CLAPPING final tally xxxxxxxxxxxxx = 13 TIMES

Overall: An improvement over last week. There’s only one challenge in a double-length show, but WWE do a good job with it, extending the final segment, so more time spent with contestants having to think on their feet. It’s not a good show, but it is better!

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TOUGH TALK

• Bryan and Hulk give Daria positive advice (noting her qualities; if you want to be in wrestling, get there), and she shows why she shouldn’t have been eliminated – she does a great job turning it into a big shouting match with Gabi and Amanda, which is exactly what Vince & Dunn want in a reality show: gorgeous skanks bitching, reinforcing the negative stereotype. Somewhere out there, Vince Russo is shouting OH GAWD BRO, THIS IS EMMY TE-LE-VISION BRO! It’s a big portion of Tough Talk, Bryan laments outing her for elimination afterwards. We still have the Brazilian Gold-digger Gabi as the Queen bitch who works the other contestants, bringing the drama; so dropping Amanda (or Giorgia, or Josh) would’ve been better for the overall quality of the show.

• Oh man. Miz plugs the Beast in the East show, and Patrick‘s the only one who watched live. Patrick’s just won the hearts of every wrestling fan watching the show. Hogan (and Paige revoices) to just end the competition and give it to him, to a rousing applause. From then on it’s shooting fish in a barrel putting him over and chastising the others. Patrick shows he knows both what viewers and judges want to hear – he MURDERS everyone saying the right things (“Indy experience doesn’t matter, I’m here to learn the WWE way”). It was a thing of beauty. He bats away any verbal jabs by Tanner, who outs himself as a liar, saying he watched Beast in the East later but can’t answer a follow-up question. Paige suggests they should kiss and make up and Patrick backs off; Miz asks if that’s real and Tanner asks if Miz wants some. Hilarious.

• Giorgia is very much the Lance Storm student, who doesn’t create drama, excels physically but doesn’t show much personality, and is courteous and professional. She’s the female winner of the last two challenges. Hmm. Mike (the Hammer) got eliminated for saying ZZ’s the worst of them all, even the women…but the women are judged separately! It’s probably just the way he said it, using women as an insult, and Paige raking him over hot coals.

• Elsewhere, Hogan says he sees greatness in ZZ but is terrible physically, Mada is pressed about seeing rough things in his life in Egypt (eg tanks being outside his house), both himself and Josh talk about not seeing their kids, and the Sara Lee/Gabi “alliance” (as Sara Lee calls it) is brought up, holy shit it’s so fake. She literally asks Miz for cues and what she’s doing is ok. End on a slow-mo of Daria crying and we’re done.

Overall: Shouldn’t have eliminated Daria, esp. with her beef with Gabi, and promoting her LGBT background would be good for WWE. You do not need to watch the main show! Watch Tough Talk for the Patrick segment, schooling the lads.

WWE Beast in the East Review: OSWreview.com/wwe-beast-in-the-east
Last week’s Tough Enough Review: OSWreview.com/tough-enough-602

Question! Is Patrick your new boy?
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]UPDATE: Wanna hear some ol’ bullshit? Tough Enough are adding A NEW contestant after THREE WEEKS of elimination. AND….it’s WWE’s Claire Lynch! (aka Megan Miller). In reality she’s another of Lance’s students and had a WWE tryout in January. I know nobody’s watching this show, but shit, this is a huge fuck you to both the other participants and the viewers. Well, viewer. I’m not joking when I say WHAT ABOUT THE RULES?

https://twitter.com/WWEToughEnough/status/618797316733075456[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

July 8, 2015
WWE Beast In The East

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WWE Beast In The East house show
New Sumo Hall, Tokyo, Japan, July 4th, 2015 (10:30am BST)

I’m so glad they made the decision to air this on the Network. Despite having hallmarks of a house show, it’s very cool to see WWE in unfamiliar surroundings with a different setup. The production was more like NXT: harsh bright lighting, less rigid camerawork – no cutting every second or zooming in/shaking on moves like stomping. With Michael Cole & Byron Saxton on commentary (live from Stamford, CT) they weren’t shilling Sonic Burger or whatever bollocks about the United Authority – there were no promos, no backstage skits – they just talked about the match being presented and the background of the wrestlers, in a reserved, relaxed way. It was much more of a legitimate sporting event feel – really great stuff.

Two untelevised matches: Cesaro submitted Diego, and Lucha Dragons got the pin over New Day.

CHRIS JERICHO vs ADRIAN NEVILLE
Jericho has his light-up jacket, which is fun to see again. Cool to think the last light-up jacket used in Japan was Prince Devitt’s, who’s now in WWE but back in Japan! Mildly jarring remembering that Jericho’s in WWE (with Tough Enough) but doesn’t wrestle. He has more knacker tattoos than ever! Cole & Saxton talk about their pre-WWE backgrounds, it’s surreal, FMW (Jericho), DG (Pac). It makes Michael Cole especially sound so much smarter and credible. The lads are wearing matching purple attire. Jericho’s very windy and Neville’s SO much faster. Oddly they don’t work the crowd. Speaking of, there’s an awesome “I’m deaf” sign. It’s so odd to hear a Japanese crowd go through the usual WWE chants (this is awesome, later on ‘let’s go Cena, Cena sucks’ etc). There’s a couple of mistakes and very short sequences i.e. they’re calling this one in the ring, but overall it’s an entertaining match. Lots of Jericho countering/cutting off Neville. Y2J didn’t do any high-risk moves, he’s too old for that! The only real choreography was the finishing sequence. He catches Neville with a lionsault, Code Breaker, countered the Red Arrow with his knees and applies the Lion Tamer (a great treat! Something we only see with smaller opponents like Tyson Kidd) for the win in 16:20. I quite enjoyed it despite being a little sloppy and a little too long.

DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP: NIKKI BELLA (c) vs PAIGE vs TAMINA
Nothing really of note here. Tamina gets teamed up on, replies with a Tower of Doom. She gets caught with a Nigel forearm from Nikki, who retains at 7:04.

BROCK LESNAR vs KOFI KINGSTON
No Heyman and instead of pyro, dry ice discharges! Brock is SO huge. A beast of a man, if you will. Cole mentions Brock being IWGP champion, which was this whole messy affair: Antonio Inoki left NJPW to create the IGF. Champion Brock left NJPW, but kept the title over a monetary dispute. He dropped this title to Kurt Angle at the first IGF show. Kurt then wrestled in NJPW and lost it to Shinsuke Nakamura, who became their new unified IWGP/IGF champion! (And all was right with the world again).
An obvious mismatch turned to be…an obvious mismatch. Kofi’s gameplan was to WCW Brock and counter suplexes by landing on his feet. After a minute Brock stops selling Kofi’s offense (looked great) and just catches him, suplex city over and over, F5 and pin. A blowout, dominant performance in a nothing match – just him being there was the draw. That felt quite house show-y but it gets over how big a deal Lesnar is, and god help Seth Rollins. He destroys/F5s New Day afterwards.

NXT CHAMPIONSHIP: KEVIN OWENS (c) vs FINN BALOR
I haven’t mentioned it but WWE have been doing a mini-documentary about Finn for the 3 weeks leading up to this match, it’s superb viewing. Devitt comes off as very humble, professional and dedicated. He loves legos and is big pals with Tensai. Becky Lynch is given tons of time talking about Fergal and going to his wrestling school. They show lots of photos, tweets and footage from his time in the Irish, English & Scottish indies, which is really amazing to see on WWE TV. They put the three parts together into a 26-minute mini-docu called “The Demon Revealed”, track it down!
Balor’s entrance is kinda in fast-forward, he didn’t revel in it. His full-on body paint has a Japanese demon head on his back, awesome. I LOVE the giving of flowers for championship matches. It’s so out of place with Demon Balor and KO. Finn thanks the Geisha whilst Owens throws his out onto the ramp. Fans throw coloured streamers for Balor’s entrance. Oh man, I’ve said it before but I wish someone worthy in WWE would take that gimmick of the streamers. Bryan (well, it’s too late now) or Itami or Balor himself would be perfect. After a dropkick into the barricade, you can see someone dressed as Curry Man. AWESOME. There’s also a Japanese Simon Gotch.
Owens spends a lot of time working the crowd, bowing to each side. He also builds up a big head of steam and into a headlock, shouting how he hates the country and everyone in it. Hilarious. He’s great. He successfully gets even me to hate him as they wrestle a WWE match, where the heel gets the shine for the vast majority; making it a slow affair, Devitt keeps getting cut off. Owens, the man with the most feuds of anyone in wrestling (Itami, Balor, Joe, Zayn, Cena) does the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. No chained sequences, just move to move; until Finn gains momentum, hitting a reverse & regular Bloody Sunday. Owens hits a sweet release german, cannonball and package slam; before a Green Bay Plunge from the 2nd rope. Some really sweet moves but at a heel’s pace. In the end, Balor his a running dropkick, sliding dropkick in the corner, and coup de grace double footstomp to win the NXT title at 19:26! Afterwards WWE HOF’er (lol) Tatsumi Fujinami congratulates Balor and the commentators and replays put Devitt over really strong.
Overall it spent a bit too much time with the heel being intentionally slowly dominant (we’ve seen even in WWE with Cena that KO can do a much faster pace) but it’s great to see the two have a prominent match, KO dropping the belt and fully graduating to the main roster, and Balor’s next in line to do so. This should’ve main-evented.
NXT right now is this weird (awesome) hybrid of extremely talented ROH/Japan guys and then dudes like Blake and Murphy, who REALLY need developmental. I wonder if people will still love NXT after Itami, Sayn and the most talented guys leave.

MAIN EVENT: JOHN CENA & DOLPH ZIGGLER VS KANE & KING BARRETT
A tag match main event? Featuring Dolph, Kane and Barrett no less? It must be a house show! Half an hour left to kill too. This match drags and drags, lots of time spent working over Ziggler. He eventually tags in Cena, who hits all of his signature moves on Barrett and gets the win at 23:51. Sadly Kane didn’t come out with a lei (Hawaiian wreath of flowers). That would’ve been boss. Hawaiian Kane. Since he went on Va-kane-tion. I’m so sorry.

Overall: I hope they do this televised house show every so often, it’s very cool. The house show mentality (for better and worse) made for a much more refreshing WWE production. 2 hours is perfect (like NXT Takeovers). Imagine if they had Cesaro/Brock instead. Could’ve used Ambrose & Rollins in the main event instead if they were intent on a tag match. If you’re sick of WWE’s 20-minute promos and 3-hour RAWs, I recommend giving this a watch. Great place to give Balor his first title in the company.

Link to the new Tough Enough/Tough Talk “Swamp Stories” review: OSWreview.com/tough-enough-602/[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]

Our brah Nate’s photos and live event experience:

[/vc_column_text][vc_gallery type=”flexslider_fade” interval=”10″ images=”4171,4172,4173,4174,4175,4176,4177,4178,4179,4180,4181,4182,4183,4184″ onclick=”link_image” custom_links_target=”_self” img_size=”717×538″]tricker[/vc_gallery][vc_accordion active_tab=”false”][vc_accordion_tab title=”Nate’s live show experience:”][vc_column_text]The crowd were straight up smoking hot! Folks got into the austere tradition and the funky colorful side of it, too: a whole gang of gents were in full Cena garb, fans were in cosplay like mad (I’ll send pics of that soon), and there were plenty of old school diehards running around – I saw Warrior shirts, Big Gold Belts, and even a Bunny!! (no Adam Rose, tho). Lots of foreign dudes were there – we all had an instant international chant-heavy connection.

Hope you loved the show! The crowd did manage to crank out some pretty good English chants, yeah? – even bigger than what was heard on the Network broadcast (someone seriously needs to muzzle Michael Cole!!). Too bad they left out the Cesaro vs. Matador Diego match, and New Day vs. Lucha Dragons, which the crowd were insane to see. All in all, it was a smaller-sized venue full of fans who were genuinely happy to be there; no cynics or grumblers in sight. They were GLUED to the performance, too – nary a side conversation going on, and so much energy for every move!!

This really was one of those cool live shows that just can’t be done proper justice on a TV. Never mind the surprisingly satisfying in-ring product (even the divas’ and the main event!) – the atmosphere was all positive, all enthused, and all inclusive. I could even hear myself roaring out “Y-2-J!!” and “Fozzy Rocks!!” on the broadcast like a mad shameless mark, but folks always got into it – people were yelling out great J-English phrases all the while: “Supa-koo(l), mahn!!” and “Yooo rock-oo!!”. Even my girlfriend was bouncing up and down for every match – too damned cool!!

Also on that, we were trying to do the old Savage / Elizabeth-on-shoulder pose for the picture. Didn’t realize that the shirts were so obscured, but that’s what a sushi / saki warm-up snack will do to a guy… C heck out the square whitish photos of Sumo wrestlers in the top left wall area! World class ! Y2J looks when I yell FOZZY and MOONGOOSE!

On the dark matches:
Yeah, they were solid! Cesaro / Diego was nice and fast with competing “Ole’s!!”, and Cesaro really knew how to work-up the crowd. He wings Diego for 27! The Matadores used some hilarious twin-magic with hugging each other and spinning in a circle at ringside, and when Cesaro went after them, they split up and ran under opposite sides of the ring, so he dug them both out and squashed both. It culminated with Torito wiggle dancing on top and pouncing on Cesaro, so he caught the baby bull and gorilla-pressed him over the turnbuckle onto Fernando before getting the pin.

New Day got great heat with the clapping and chanting, and LDragons started well with their signature speed-over-power action (awesome). Xavier looked great, and even Big E looked faster than usual with Sin Cara crawling all over him. After New Day pummeled them for a bit, Dragons turned it around with a double tope dive through the ropes, and Calisto spun around and rolled up Xavier for the win. Great opener-style match.

The crowd was just manic for both matches, and they actually kept awake for the whole show after (though some did leave during the final match — Cena just moves at such a glacial pace..). Still a surprisingly good show, and so much more fun to watch without having to listen to the commentators — this actually restores a bit of my faith in WWE, which is great considering the drop in wrestling numbers worldwide…[/vc_column_text][/vc_accordion_tab][/vc_accordion][/vc_column][/vc_row]

July 6, 2015
Tough Enough S6E02 “Swamp Stories”

Massive drop in interest around the net about Tough Enough after the premiere. Can’t blame ’em! The show averaged 1,047,000 viewers (losing 162,000 from last week, which isn’t that bad!). USA now also have a 2-hour version of RAW as a lead in.

• The format of the show is Jericho/Renee Young and the judges (Bryan, Paige & Hogan) in front of a live studio in Full Sail University, cutting to pre-recorded footage from the week’s events. Then they trot out the contestants, prod them about whatever they find most interesting, and eliminate one of them via popular vote. I also watched last week’s Tough Talk, which is an informal half hour chat by Miz, talking to the contestants and the judges butting in. It’s actually better than Tough Enough!
• Where are Jericho’s eyebrows? I know you’re 45 but grow old gracefully! Botox in men is never cool. It’s like Buff Bagwell getting calf implants!
• The Judges admit that these 13 are the best of the 11,000 submissions & most have blended into the background. Oh jaysus!
• Really forced drama this week. It kicks off with women shouting at each other, Patrick (the black guy) cutting a promo on Alex, and later Daria crying.
• Patrick chastises Alex over knowing nothing about wrestling. Alex outs himself by saying “I don’t need to know anything about history. Knowledge means nothing”. Oddly they never showcase Patrick’s knowledge, even a little bit. Right there sealed his fate – as it’s also an insult to wrestling fans.
• Courage Challenge 1 at The Swamp: In “crocodile infested waters”, swim to the boat, retrieve a NXT title and return back. I only saw one croc, it was very far away and could’ve been fake! This is ZZ’s environment but he’s not a good swimmer. Dianna (former swim team in high school) absolutely blitzes everyone for the win, whilst Tanner decides to cheat by swimming to the land and running around to beat the other guys.
• Dianna says “Lake Placid ruined me for life” – dammit Jimmy king!
• Billy Gunn chews out Daria (the lesbian MMA bartender) for dropping her title in the swamp and she starts bawling. Seems REALLY fake. Boo!
• Courage Challenge 2: At the training centre, there’s Roman Reigns and his baby blue contact lenses! There’s just something wrong with a guy who got a spot in FCW thanks to his dad and was fast-tracked to the main roster and main event giving advice to trainees. I’d MUCH rather grizzled veterans, like Funlee or Regal. Unlike S1 of Tough Enough, their guests don’t spend a few minutes talking about themselves, which was a highlight of the show. I would’ve liked to have heard Roman speak, after all he did ‘overcome not knowing’! Roman’s task: take Bull Dempsy’s finish (giant whoopsie from the top rope). Em…nothing comes of this, they’re all asked to take a back bump off the top rope instead. Patrick does the best (Billy quips ‘good job Barry Horowitz!’) and Dianna has the worst.
• Next episode I need to count the number of times they start clapping. It’s so phony and desperate, it lasts an ice age.
• Back at the camp, there’s lots of women shouting over each other calling each other bitches. Russo would be proud!
• It doesn’t help that this show has a horrendous soundtrack, a bland synth pop music that’s immediately forgettable; Vince saying ‘it’s trash, but sure this is what the idiot kids like these days’.
• Elimination Time! Bottom 3: Alex “I don’t need to know about wrestling”, Dianna (despite winning the first challenge is always arguing, so ‘doesn’t have locker-room etiquette’) and Sara Lee. No, not Sara Lee! I like what I’ve seen in the 10 seconds she’s had on camera. Her final plea is saying she won’t start fights to get on camera, and to give her a go. Was happily surprised to see she got 50% of the votes, and with only 15%, Alex gets the hoof.

Overall, this this not a good show! Their big star (ZZ) isn’t good at wrestling or has cardio but seems like a lovely dude; wasn’t featured much here. I wonder if USA are regretting picking up this show, and if the deal was made before Austin pulled out.

TOUGH TALK

• The Miz (Y2J calls him Jericho Jr.) is a FAR better host than Jericho. He’s also less overbearing than last week so he’s actually really good.
• He mentions being thrown out of the locker-room and changing in the corridor over disrespect. It’s either attributed to no-one (or JBL) but it was actually Benoit that threw him out.
• It’s main plus is that it’s unscripted, and Miz does a great job bouncing off and reacting to the contestants and judges.
• The judges tear into Alex, who doesn’t explain himself well. They end up telling him he needs to try to learn when he gets in the door.
• Paige is coming off as quite boorish and vindictive, jutting in with whatever to amuse herself and work the crowd. Maybe it’s that she’s 22 and been on the main roster for just over a year but I find her quite obnoxious as a judge. Every time she shouts ‘this is my house’ on TV it’s go-away heat.
• Bryan’s such a lovely guy. He’s the best. Everyone loves Daniel. He applauds Alex & Patrick for going in the water without being able to swim, as he can’t swim and wouldn’t want to be in their position. (Paige admits she can’t swim, and Hogan kinda agrees; which has to be bollocks – he’s all about dog-paddling past the buoys!) How come wrestlers can’t swim?
• Daria (who dropped her NXT belt in the pond during the competition) is chastised over not retrieving it from a coloured, murky, infested water that she doesn’t love the business and all that. Hogan twisting it into a respect thing will kill her.
• ZZ is asked about pie, and he says women are like pie, they are hot but when they’re cool they are sweet, and gets a round of applause.
• Gabi (the gorgeous Brazilian) is pressed about her line on Tough Enough, saying Roman Reigns makes her wet. They then jab her husband in the crowd (Bryan asks and find out it’s her 3rd marriage, to this MUCH OLDER man) but he lovingly says he trusts her and they’re committed to her success. Paige says he doesn’t wear the pants in the family.
• Oddly, they repeat the scrolling tweets at the bottom – I hope it’s laziness rather than only 30 people tweeting about Tough Enough!
• The show is actually 30 minutes long (no ads) which does drag in the final 7 minutes.

Overall: Miz & Bryan are really holding up this show. That’s about it. I’ll be back next week to review episode 3! Are you still watching Tough Enough? Tomorrow I’ll give my thoughts on the Tokyo Japan show 🙂

July 5, 2015